Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
