Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
