I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
