I must be too annoying 4 u.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
