16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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