He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
