So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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