Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
