Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
