That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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