you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
