There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
