My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
