There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
