That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
