so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize