Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
