yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
