I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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