i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
