I'm going to jail i love you
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
