normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
pray to the hookup gods
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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