i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
