I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize