Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
