The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
