Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
