Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
