Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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