Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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