Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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