new low.... made out with someone while peeing
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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