I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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