so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
