I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize