I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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