What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
