Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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