I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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