so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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