i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
