ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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