Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
