Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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