Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
