So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
