Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
