What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
