i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
