if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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