just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
