On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
