I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
