I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
