dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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