Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
