i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
