Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
