I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
