Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize