So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
